A laugh, A lesson, and A blessing from Doug and Mildred Ramsey at positivepresentations.com
Part 2 of our Super Supervisor Communications series: "Communicating with the body, mind and spirit".
While on stage at my live seminars, I like to say, "Hey Boss!", "There's three of me standing up here......I have a body (pointing to my body), I have a Mind (pointing to my head), and I have a Spirit (pointing to my heart).................My body's what I'm doing.............my mind is what I am thinking......... and my spirit's what I'm feeling.......If all you care about, boss, is what I am doing......and you don't care about what I am thinking.....and you don't care about how I am feeling........... you have missed two thirds of my potential!"
In my opinion, missing out on an employee's potential is the greatest "sin" of management and our biggest "waste".
This month's lesson will teach us to get all three thirds of our employee's potential by connecting with the body, mind and spirit plus the "secret to effective communications".
In future issues, we will bring it down to the shop floor and use familiar "Kaizen tools" to improve our Communications processes, take a closer look on one on one and group communications and finish with "Mildred's secret tips on public speaking that have made her "Mildred Live!" seminars so successful".
The Effective Communications
Series will include:
1. Breakthroughs in Communications.
2. Communicating with the body, mind and spirit ...Mildred's employee triangle.(this issue)
3. A Communications Kaizen (Standard flow for good communications, Muda, breakdowns and root causes)
4. More Effective One on One communications....the "Talking/listening balancing act"
5. Tips for more effective group communications...team meetings, classroom, creative brainstorms, internet, cell phone.
6. Mildred's secret tips on Public Speaking
"Communicating with the Body, Mind, and Spirit"
While we are going about our daily lives and "doing our thing" we are living in three dimensions at once (what we are doing, what we are thinking, and and what we are feeling). Super Supervisors know how to relate to all 3 of these dimensions. They also know the secret to more effective communications..........engage the mind by going through the heart...... Let's review:
Communicating with the Body....."what I am doing".
A person's body is their statement to the world about who they are. Pay attention to what their body is saying and respect each employee's individual "style".
1. Reading body language. Take notice of employee's body language and tailor your communications accordingly. Especially their facial expressions (are they happy, sad, disgusted, angry?). Body movements (are they shrugging their shoulders, frequently turning away from you, nervous or distracted, erect or slumped over?). Notice how they "act"...are they enthusiastic or not?.....are they confident or not? Are they clean, neatly dressed, and well groomed or not? Make an effort to put them at ease and make them receptive to you (happy, comfortable, enthusiastic, focused).
2. Respect employee's personal space. Except for an occasional pat on the back and a 2 second touch, don't put your hands on their body at all. (communicates consideration). Recognize employees as persons of value and worth, and do not make or tolerate any negative comments about any employees personal appearance. (communicates courtesy)
3. Set reasonable workloads. Recognize that your employees are only human and don't assign more work than is humanly possible to do. (communicates compassion)
Communicating with the "Heart"......what I am feeling
Remember, everyone's "want to" is in their heart or spirit. Super Supervisors work to create and maintain a continuous atmosphere of trust and good will among team members. Be sure to observe these 3 tips.:
1. Be careful to never hurt an employee's feelings.....they may never forgive you for this. Never raise your voice or speak harshly to one of your workers. (communicates lack of control). Never compare one employee unfavorably with another employee. (communicates inconsistency)
2. Try to pay a little "attention" to each employee every day. A smile, a wave of the hand, a "how is it going?" or an "atta boy".
3. Try to understand your employee's personal and family problems. Send get well card if they are sick, go to the mortuary if a member of their immediate family dies........etc. (communicates caring and concern).
Communicating with the "Mind"......what I am thinking
Between every employee's ears is a powerful computer......if it could be built outside the skull, it would cost 10 billion dollars. Here are some tips on tapping into that potential.
1. Raise your expectations of employee mental potential.....It has been proven if you expect more you will get more. Make sure you do not subscribe to any of the 3 idea killing myths:...that Intelligence depends on education, economic status, or social status. Every employee is a potential contributor to any company "job improvement" campaigns. (See story of Ron in your Super Supervisor book pg 49).
2. Engage their minds. Ask their opinions on things, ask them a question occasionally, or better....ask them to think about something and get back to you........to show them you know they have a mind.
3. Positive programming. A person's peers do not program their computer........but rather their superiors. So like it or not every supervisor is a computer programmer. Program them with positives, or it's garbage in garbage out. Compliment your employee's intelligence occasionally, whether they are educated or not. Never cause a computer "crash" and show your own ignorance by saying something like the president of one company told one of his top managers in a meeting, "You don't get paid to think". (ugh!)
When a superior tells a subordinate to do something, the mind receives the message but the heart decides the response. Therefore to maintain a productive and mutually satisfying relationship with their workers, super supervisors should "go for the heart" and I guarantee the mind will "tag along for the ride". I speak from 42 years of experience when I say that employees will give their best to, and will never forget those supervisors who touch their heart. Here are a few hints and examples.
1. Respect and acknowledge a workers emotional state before initiating communication. Example " I can see you are upset right now, but when you get some time, I want to get your thoughts on an important issue with you....when can we get together?".
2. Reinforce self esteem. Psychological studies place "self esteem" very high on the list of things we all "need" to be positive, productive and happy people. When someone boosts my self esteem, that validates my self worth, and touches the very essence of my being..........my heart. Example "You had some great ideas on the last project, could I get you to help me with this one?"
3. Reinforce self worth through "validation". In my book, "The Super Supervisor" I talk about the many ways supervisors and managers can validate their subordinates self worth through positive communications. Example "You did a great job on project xyz which saved the company a lot of money."
Supervisors and managers, don't ignore a single one of your workers. A little attention can get you through the heart door and into the mind and remember, whatever gets your mind...gets you!
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president," -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP
" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another" -- George Bush
"If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with forest fires.” – George Bush
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina.
Twenty-One by Mildred Ramsey
(This poem is very popular with mothers whose sons have left the nest)
My son you're
twenty-one today, your boyhood days are gone.
And now you are in every way, a real man of your own.
You're standing on the brink of life, just like a bird that's free,
To go where you would like to go, and be what you would be.
And I feel like
the mother bird, who's worked so hard and long,
And taught her little one to fly, and now she's all alone.
I pray your wings are strong enough, to break the highest heights.
I hope I have prepared you, for a long and happy life.
I know we've had our ups and downs, and troubles all along.
I hope that you'll forgive me for the times when I was wrong.
I may have tried to smother you, with love and good intent.
To force your life into a mold, for which it was not meant.
I know at times
I talked too much, and gave too much advice.
Which didn't do a bit of good, and left you cold as ice.
But one important lesson, most mothers haven't learned,
is when to keep their mouth shut where their children are concerned.
I've ever said, and all I've ever done.
You'll never never understand, until you have a son.
And I hope you'll remember this, whatever else you do.
No other person on this earth, means more to me than you.
And may God help
me understand my little boy is grown.
And maybe I can realize, your need to stand alone.
And if we live a hundred years on this you can depend.
Although I'm you mother, son, I also am your friend.
(written for my son Steve in 1969)
|WE GOT MAIL.....FROM YOU||^top|
Mildred Fan remembers 15 years later.....
"I had the pleasure of seeing Mildred Ramsey live in 1990. I have never forgotten her presentation and often use her recommendations in dealing with other people some 15 yrs. later. I would like to know when and where she will be appearing live and would love to see her again. I would like to add that I purchased her book The Super Supervisor in 1990 and continue to review it periodically today. It offers simple, sound advise that managers tend to overlook on a daily basis. Please keep me posted on her next public appearance. Thanks..Alisa Hooper, Human Resource Manager, Parker Hannifin Corp.
If you would like more information on bringing Mildred LIVE to your company or event click here.
If you would like to be notified of a Mildred LIVE! public event when it is in your area, click here and email your address to Doug.
|3 QUOTES FOR MONTH||^top|
"To me...the "magic" ....is in acquiring management skills by training......Look at the world. No goal, regardless of how small, can be achieved without adequate training." (The Toyota Production System, 1990)
RALPH WALDO EMMERSON
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters to what lies within us.
JOHAN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE
Divide and rule, a sound motto. Unite and lead, a better one.
|WHATS UP AND WHATS NEW||^top|
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When you get what your want in your battle for self and the world makes you king for a day.....just go the mirror....... This popular 8.5 by 11 piece can be hung on your office wall as a reminder.
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|MILDRED'S SUPER SUPERVISOR CHALLENGE||^top|
Encourage a disadvantaged employee:
Think of one of your most important issue and ask an educationally, or economically disadvantaged team member to think about it and get back to you. Make sure you go through the heart door. (e.g., "This is a real problem we are dealing with and I thought with your background, you might have a good perspective on it....")
For background, see Super Supervisor Book pg. 49. Read the story about "Ron" who was an educationally disadvantaged employee.